I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.
A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are affected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, and then we can help heal the other.
Well I am going to share the other person’s prison of hell as well.
To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.
Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested losing you for anyone else. They become worried that no matter what they say, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way.
They wait for the shoe to drop. Sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes it drops immediately. They have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time; they will not be able to say the right thing. They will get even more irrational with what they say to you.
Nevertheless,
The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have started to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache.
Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you; it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, and then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they feel bad about it. Your mate loves you as much as you love them. And to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings, eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves.
Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.
I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being punished. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and let’s not forget my favorite thing to do...HUGGGGGG!!!!
One thought from my heart to yours:
Say this outload:
"I am always ready to risk.
I am always ready to learn.
I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"
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